There was a bit of confusion as we left Sanur early on Friday a.m. The hotel we were staying in, Jampu Inn was connected with a larger, more luxurious other hotel that had the beautiful pool and beach area. I told the desk there, where we had to check in, that we needed a driver to the airport at 5 a.m. Friday. But there was another guy at our inn and we told the same thing. He said his brother would drive us. The brother Ari showed up at the room Thursday afternoon and took our names, time, etc. and said to meet him across the street from our hotel - not to get in another taxi. He changed the time to 5:15. When we came down at 5, there was the driver from the bigger hotel there ready to take us. Ari was nowhere in sight. I think the guy at Jambu Inn was trying to get some business for his brother! I felt badly but we left with the hotel driver, as we had an agreed-upon price of 200,000Rupiah (about $20). Poor Ari got out of bed early for nothing! We never saw him!
At the airport Betty had extra money so we had a lovely breakfast (Air Asia doesn’t even give you water unless you order food as well!). We shared a delicious chocolate muffin. Our flight was a simple 3 hours to Kuala Lumpur. I could see the volcanos on Java and the rugged terrain of Indonesia as we flew over. Arrival was pretty simple; a HUGE only 2 year old airport here. The usual lines through customs and immigration, collecting our bags and headed out to meet the Tans at the agreed upon Uncle K’s restaurant. I had sent them a picture of Betty and me (they had met me in Plum Village last May when I visited Doug.). But we saw noone waiting, looking for us. It was right near the car pickup so I kept walking up and down outside (VERY hot and humid!) thinking they would spot me if they were in a car. Betty waited inside with the bags. I was beginning to think what the heck to do next - when Kim Tan showed up from inside. Not sure where he had been waiting! His son brought the car around and we were off!
Kim’s oldest son Br. Dai Dung is a novice monk at Plum Village and will be ordained a Bikshu (official monk) at the end of the month in Bangkok. The family will go there for the ordination. That (Thich Nhat Hanh) is spending the winter there - he had a severe stroke two years ago, was treated in Bordeaux, then San Francisco and then back in Plum Village. He is paralyzed on one side, in a wheelchair and cannot speak. But he’s alert and can communicate his wishes. I saw him in May when I was there and he waved to us in the dharma hall.
Anyhow, Kim and his 22 year old son Jackson drove us back to their home, a gated community with lovely homes on a golf course. We met Kim’s wife Esther there and we all headed out for lunch at a local Chinese restaurant. The Tans’ four children are 4th generation Chinese from mainland in the south towards Guangzhou (former Canton) area. Kim said the grandparents were farmers as were his parents. The first thing you see as you enter their gorgeous home is the family altar at the entryway. Thay’s picture is on the right, Kim’s parents photo on the left (his mother was 85 and father 90 when they passed); then three statues - Guanyin boddhisatva of Compassion; and two others I can’t remember. Then a seated Buddha and many candles and flowers. It is a beautiful altar!
The Tans have 4 children. Jackson just graduated in hotel management and is job-hunting. He had done an internship in Switzerland. Mabel, their daughter (about 25), is having a delayed graduation today in mechanical engineering. She was doing a 3 month internship in Alaska when the actual graduation last spring occurred so this is happening today. Mom, Jackson and Mabel later were doing flower arranging for bouquets today. Two sisters of Esther’s were arriving from Australia for a 3 week visit. Esther’s parents were staying with her brother and the father hasn’t been well - so that’s another reason for the sisters’ visit. The youngest son is studying real estate, in his second year of 3, in the UK.
Throughout their home were many of Thay’s calligraphys framed on the wall. Kim has been a practitioner in the PV tradition for about 9 years - previously he was practicing in a different one. He really LIVES the life, is very calm and in the moment. He would make a great dharma teacher! I think he and Esther had visited PV before and later encourage Dai Dung to go there for a month. He did, came home, and then decided to go back as an aspirant and later a novice monk. Now he’s reached the 3 year end of novice and will be fully ordained. Kim says he seems very happy in his life choice. We had a discussion about Doug’s path and how HE came to become a monk. Everyone’s story that I hear is so different!! I think he said Br. Dai Dung is now 28.
Kim story is also very interesting. He is from a family of 9. He is the only one who went on to school. He came from a poor village and the elementary and secondary education wasn’t that great. He got the opportunity to go to university in Melbourne and he said he had to fight and work hard for his degree in engineering. He got a job in Penang (where we’re going after two nights in Malacca) in the north and worked for Motorola for a couple of years. It was here he met Esther who was finishing her degree. When she graduated, they married and moved to KL. She worked for awhile (I think her degree was in chemistry or some science). But then with 4 kids to raise she hasn’t worked for awhile.
Kim went to work for a company that had a factory and maintenance for some kind technology, I think. Later when his company was sold, he and his German boss took over part of it and he ran his own business. He retired at 51!!! to enjoy live and family and his practice more. That seems to be the focus of his life 5 years since retirement. He practices with the Malaysian sangha and in 2012 when Doug visited here with Thay and the monks, they did a retreat in Penang. We may meet up with another of Doug’s dharma brothers, Br. Kai LI, also a friend of Kim’s when we are there. He’s contacted me by WhatsApp and perhaps we’ll meet up.
Had a late dinner (we didn’t need MORE food, but we went out anyway!). Kim went online for us and purchased our bus tickets to Malacca for us (Betty had some Malaysian money, Ringgit, I think it’s called) I noticed when I tried to give Kim MY credit card to buy the tickets that I couldn’t find my MC. Thinking I had it in another place, we paid cash. Then this a.m. on my email was a fraud alert from Bank of America. It gave me an international number to call them but I can’t figure out how to get to an International Operator and call. Ended up Kerry saving the day ….AGAIN! She had to do this once in 1998 when Doug’s backpack was stolen with his passport and my credit card I had given him for emergencies!! I happened to be visiting him in Madrid when this happened and I simply called Kerry to cancel the card. 8 charges had been made when i got home but I wasn’t liable.
I WhatsApped with Kerry and she called the company to see what the charges were. There were like 5 charges, all online, all yesterday, for different programs. But I won’t be liable; they froze the card and will send me a new one when I get home. I have other cards and will have to be much MORE careful when using them!! Problem solved; THANKS, KERRY!!!
Off to the bus station with Kim’s GPS. A NEW station is being built; no sign where the temporary station was; Kim had to keep asking! We found it with minutes to spare! That’s why I ALWAYS need to be at airport/station, WAY early!! I was trying to BREATHE and keep calm! Worse case is we would have had to sit at the station until the 1 pm bus! No biggie!! As Kim had to get back for his daughter’s convocation!! We hugged goodbye; it was a short but wonderful visit with a real Malaysian family and home!! Just what I most love about traveling! I’m sure we’ll see each other again!
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